Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Hills: Burt edition




* Thanks to FilmPharm for the heads up on the video!

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

You're In The Movies Now Kid

"I'm Burt Reynolds - obviously."

Burt is using his considerable clout to help a little start-up company trying to get something going with these-here "video games." I hear from industry insiders that Dr. Reynolds waived his regular fee (up to $1 million per televised minute) in order to throw a bone to the whipper-snappers behind "You're In The Movies."


Monday, November 17, 2008

Question: Who are you Burt Reynolds?



Answer: A handsome, muscular leading man, Burt Reynolds first achieved prominence on TV's "Riverboat" (NBC, 1959-61).


Yahoo! Answers can teach us so much about Great Men.


DID YOU KNOW(??)

Burt Reynolds was drafted in 1955 by the Baltimore Colts professional football team before an accident ended his sports career.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Halle Berry professes love for Burt Reynolds; says this one dude.




This chick (can't remember her name! SO EMBARRASSING!) is professing her love for the classic and ever-so-sweaty Burt Reynolds.
See what she's done here: she's wearing a symbol on her shirt that is so iconic it actually takes your eyes away from her cleavage.

Wait.

No - nevermind. It doesn't.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

R.I.P. Jerry Reed



March 20, 1937 – August 31, 2008


Jerry Reed died last week from complications of emphysema. He was 71.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Her life is in your hands Burt. Her life is in your hands.


1.
Burt Reynolds Baseball update
Burt's batting .407 for the Princeton Rays through July 2nd. The third baseman had three hits on Monday night and helped Princeton improve to a 7-7 record.


In case I didn't tell you, Burt plays baseball now. Yep.

2.
Don't forget about the great work that Crapalog is doing over here - with his Burt Reynolds Saturday photo. A great way to spend a Saturday evening, I think.

3.
Who would have thought that Burt Reynolds lives like a princess? We do says The Onion.

"Who would have guessed that Burt Reynolds,
manly star of Cannonball Run
and Sharky's Machine,
lives like a princess?
"

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Burt Reynolds is a baseball player.










No seriously. This is Burt Reynolds, third baseman for the Princeton Rays. Read all about it!






Great. Now this is the hot "thing." First it was small dogs in purses, then it was doing toot off of dude's shoulder (when was that hot?) ... now it's pretending to be Burt Reynolds.





I'VE SEEN A LOT OF SPINALS DUDE... AND THIS GUY IS A FAKE.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Fast car. Faster than that.

Got an extra $129,000?
Really?
Well - what can we do to get you in a Trans-Am today?
This ain't no regular, StarBucks god*am Trans-Am either - this is the YearOne Burt Reynolds edition Trans Am!!!



"Introducing the Burt Reynolds Edition Trans Am by YearOne. Legendary style meets supercar performance in this limited production, hand-built muscle car.

When the 1977 Special Edition Trans Am was chosen to star alongside Burt Reynolds in the classic movie Smokey and the Bandit®, history was made. Burt and the Trans Am became superstars of popular culture, recognized everywhere as the epitome of cool, fun, and style.

Three decades later, and YearOne is teaming the star and the car together again, with a modern performance makeover that injects supercar levels of power and grip into legendary style. The Burt Reynolds Edition Trans Am by YearOne. It’s undeniably cool. It’s seriously fast. And it’s extremely limited. Get one while you can."



Sunday, May 18, 2008

Free Caspian Sea Samples: Ashley Simpson wedding in trouble?

"One day, this will all be yours."

Google Trends looks at the hottest search terms of the day. One of today's was Quinton Reynolds, the son of our little club's namesake. Don't believe me (and I'm sure you do) - check here.
Oh yeah - Loni Anderson got married. Whatever. We're over it.

I know the video below is silent but actually... I think it's better that way.



Wednesday, April 30, 2008

REHAB: The Video Edition

Face... Off.
Get it?!


Johnny Carson & Friends

(Saturday Night Live: Dana Carvey, Chris Farley and Phil Hartman).





"Burt Reynolds: This Is Your Life" with Johnny Carson
Dom DeLuise enters at 4:44.






Shout out to Hanno Leathers & Rehab for this wonderful song (REPPIN' ATHENS, GA!!!)





Here's the trailer for "Cannonball Run"...



Friday, April 25, 2008

Deal!!

"Yes I'm wearing shades indoors. I have a thing about women looking me in the eye."

DEAL comes out this weekend - it's the latest Burt Reynolds movie and from what people on the Web are saying it could very well end up being the greatest film of all time. Plus it stars Shannon Elizabeth.


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

FREE Burt Reynolds XXX Live Teen Nude Burton Leon Reynolds LOL 420 69

"Let go of me Kathleen Turner! This vest was from Bloomies!"
Every Saturday night The Daily Ramblings posts a new photo of Burt Reynolds. Why? Did you just axe why?
BOOM.

That's why sweetheart.

Not that we cared, but Kathleen Turner wrote a book. In it she repeated some of the hideous claims she made in an article for The Daily Mail called Why I detest Burt Reynolds and Nicolas Cage, by Kathleen Turner.

She said that Burt (her co-star in the 1988 film Switching Channels) was "just nasty."
Sounds like a compliment to me.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

DID YOU KNOW? Burt & Sports


There are three tests of a man:
How much can he drink?
Is he a good athlete?
How many women has he bedded?

Burt's got a history of sportin' alright!
We covered Burt's wonderful work with The Female in last month's The Women of Burt series. Let's take a look at how he did ON the field.


Burt and FSU

After an All-State high school career, Burt arrived on campus at Florida State University as a halfback. (He roomed with Lee Corso). He played at FSU for two years.

No doubt Burt would have been one of the greatest collegiate running backs of all time, were it not for a terrible knee injury that ended his football career.

Burt and the Pros

Once Dr. Reynolds was famous and wealthy he became a co-owner of the Tampa Bay Bandits, a team in the USFL (1983-85) that was coached by former FU QB and coach Steve Spurrier.

The Bandits squad featured future professional wrestler Lex Luger and Super Bowl Champion Nate Newton.

Burt Reynolds also co-owned a NASCAR Winston Cup team - the #33 Skoal Bandits car driven by Harry Grant.

Oh yeah - Burt's co-owner? None other than Hal Needham, world's greatest stunt director. (By the way, if you've ever wondered if Hal Needham WASN'T a baddass [who hasn't?] - he was a paratrooper in Korea, a treetopper and a billboard model before becoming a stuntman. So that should answer your question pansy. Get a job).

By the way - I found this on Lex Luger's Wikipedia:

After sitting out the 1978 season he started the 1979 season at Offensive Guard until his scholarship was terminated for disciplinary reasons stemming from a hotel damage incident that occurred during an away game at Georgia Tech.

AWESOME!!

So, let's review:

BURT REYNOLDS -> LEE CORSO -> STEVE SPURRIER -> LEX LUGER -> HAL NEEDHAM ->NATE NEWTON.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Burt the porn star?

So, there's a porn star version look-a-like Burt Reynolds out there named Sasha Gabor.

First of all, I always sort of considered Burt Reynolds to be a porn star himself, albeit without the "credentials" of Mr. Gabor.

Second of all, Sasha Gabor is awesome!


Apparantley, the real Dr. Burton Leon Reynolds is none too fond of Gabor - and why not? This swingin' D is out there tarnishing the good doctor's name! I did some Wiki-digging and apparantley this Diet-Burt is from Hungary! Gross. The only way to make a porn star more disgusting is if he were from Hungary. What do you think his undercarraige smells like?
I'm guessing: mud.

The only other thing I could find out about him was that in 1984 he got paid $350 to make a film called Every Woman Has a Fantasy.

Speaking of which:

Did you know that according to US News & World Report, 87% of American women fantasize about Burt Reynolds at least three times a day?


(Side note: who's had more women in their day: Burt or Sasha? Even though Sasha does It for a living, I'm guessing B.L. Reynolds has tripled his Number).

Sasha's movie parodies are however, quite funny.
For more on Gabor - I'm guessing he's not related to Zsa Zsa? - check this out.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Burt Reynolds Death Metal Experiment


Wow - check out the badasses in The Burt Reynolds Death Metal Experiment!!


The Burt Reynolds Death Metal Experiment (BRDME) was formed in late 1977 when the movie Smokey and the Bandit was released. The most influential movie of our time not to mention the most influential moustach of all time together on the big screen deserved nothing less than a tribute band to Burt Reynolds himself. We started out as a dangerious duo but now have a total of seventeen members and growing. We are curently working on our sixty-seventh record and are making good progress. Some of our credits include producing for Frank Sinatra, The village People, The Spazzed Out Chicken Chokers, Eminem, Pyledriver. Also we have colaborated a number of times in song writing with Jay-Z, Clint Black, John Tesch, and Aretha Franklyn to name a few. Our goal with BRDME is to dominate everything. OUR BAND IS BETTER THAN YOURS SO FUCK OFF. HEY WE GOT SHIT FOR SALE. IF YOU EVER WANT TO TRULEY BE SEXy, YOU SHOULD BUY SOMETHING!!!!! CLICK ON THE LINK DICKHEAD!!!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

The Women of Burt: Miko Mayama




Miko Mayama

Actress:
Star Trek, Kojack, M.A.S.H., Hawaii Five-O (typical).

Little known* fact: In 1970, Miko starred in an episode of "The Flying Nun" which starred future Burt-Woman Sally Field.

* - zero known fact.





Boldly going where ... probably tons of dudes had been - Burt proved that he believed in Affirmative Action by adding Miko's name to his Rolodex.


(There's a [terrible] rumor making its way around Hollywood that during the time Burt was dating Miko, he was participating in something called "Around the World in a Week" where participants attempted to bed someone from each corner of the earth in seven days time).***

***- internet lie.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Burt Reynolds/90210 Sass-Fest

(That's the fastest I've ever posted something. I got the email at 11:02. It was online at 11:02. Thanks to K.Parker for the assist!)



Monday, March 17, 2008

The Women of Burt: Loni Anderson

"I told you g__dammit! Don't hold my hand in public."






The only person in Burt's life who's had more plastic surgery than himself.



  • Anderson was married to Dr. B. Leon Reynolds from 1988-1993.

  • Nominated for 3 Golden Globes.

  • Co-starred with Burt in BL Stryker, Evening Shade and Stroker Ace.
  • Friday, March 14, 2008

    The Women of Burt: Sally Field


    "Damn you Burt Reynolds! Damn you Burt Reynolds!!"







    Ol' Sally and those tight pants of her inspired the following (soliloquay) from Burton Leon Reynolds:

    (Field has just asked for a nickname).

    BANDIT:

    "Frog.
    'Cause you're always hoppin' around.
    And you're kinda cute like a frog,and... I'd like to jump ya."



    For my money, Sally Field is one of Burt's hottest - if not the hottest - conquests.
    Apparantley, Stewie from Family Guy doesn't agree with me.
    From Episode 89: Road to Rupert, Stewie has just been dropped off by the Bandit and Frog.
    Stewie says, with heavy sarcasm,“Thanks for the ride, Bandit. Good luck tapping that hot, hot Sally Field ass.”

    It'sAfreeCountryManOkay?!?

    And I think that Sally Field is pretty.
    Good job Burt!

    Tuesday, March 11, 2008

    The Women of Burt: Dinah Shore




    She was 20 years his senior, when Burt started making the rounds with D(!) on his arm in the early 1970s. Dinah Shore - her name would one day be associated with an annual golf tournament famous for being one of the biggest lesbian gatherings in the world... but for a scant time her name was "Burt's Woman."



    Shore made her name as a popular singer in the 40's and 50's and later as a daytime television host. (During Shore's heyday as a singer, Reynolds was smoking expensive cigars and competing in large-scale round-robin arm-wrestling tournaments as a 9 year old boy).


    The Women of Burt: Chris Evert



    BORN: Ft. Lauderdale

    WON: 18 Grand Slam titles

    HAD: Burton Leon Reynolds













    In typical Burt fashion, he made the ultra-hot Evert his own.
    It's a never-ending process: he sees someone, he likes what they're selling, he makes them his own. When he's finished he moves on.
    No crying, no drool - no explaination. It's called collateral damage, Billy!

    BURT-ACTIVITY REPORTED!

    DEAL
    Starring Elizabeth Berkley and Burt Reynolds.

    Film Junk says it best:
    Let me get this straight… a poker movie starring Burt Reynolds as the grizzled card shark who takes a young hotshot under his wing and shows him the ropes? You had me at hello!
    Check out the rest of the post and see a trailer here.

    Wednesday, March 05, 2008

    “It makes sense that the museum is in a bank… because Burt Reynolds is so money.”

    I got an email from Sunir, Chief Handshaker over at FreshBooks. They made a fantastic video of their trip to the Burt Reynolds Institute and Museum in Jupiter, Florida - or as a Reynolds-phile would call it, Mecca.
    Here's what happened:



    Tuesday, February 19, 2008

    Stryker Returns... on DVD.




    There's been much debate around which B.L. Stryker season is the best. My vote is for the first season but I wouldn't say that in public - the season 2 fanatics can be violent when provoked.


    Well, guess what baby? Season One is headed to DVD - thanks to a re-release by the Arts Alliance of America.



    Check it out online here.



    Did you know that season one features appearances by Ossie Davis, Rita Moreno, Abe Vigoda, Kristy Swanson, Michael Chiklas and Neil Patrick Harris?
    Did you know it was produced by Tom Selleck?



    Here's a gorgeous description of the show - just to get you going...



    B.L. Stryker, a former New Orleans detective, returns to his native Florida and is thrust by circumstances into the life of private investigator. His lifestyle and principles clash with those of the rich and powerful in Palm Beach as he solves crimes in conjunction with the local police.

    Wednesday, February 13, 2008

    A bunch of fuuuuu*******ing amateurs!!





    BURT-NEWS!



    Burton Leon Reynolds is currently filming A Bunch of Amateurs - a clear and present reference to the great Big L (The Big Lebowski for long). IMDB.com describes it thusly: "A sleazy Hollywood agent tricks one of his clients, a faded action star, into playing King Lear in an amateur charity production in London."

    The film also stars British acting legend Derek Jacobi.

    Wednesday, February 06, 2008

    The Burt-A-Thon


    Check out the wonderful work over at the Burt-A-Thon!

    Tuesday, February 05, 2008

    Esquire de-fames Reynolds! Earth, Sun revolt!

    We hate to see Dr. Reynolds portrayed in this light...