DID YOU KNOW? Burt & Sports

There are three tests of a man:
How much can he drink?
Is he a good athlete?
How many women has he bedded?

Burt's got a history of sportin' alright!
We covered Burt's wonderful work with The Female in last month's The Women of Burt series. Let's take a look at how he did ON the field.

Burt and FSU

After an All-State high school career, Burt arrived on campus at Florida State University as a halfback. (He roomed with Lee Corso). He played at FSU for two years.

No doubt Burt would have been one of the greatest collegiate running backs of all time, were it not for a terrible knee injury that ended his football career.

Burt and the Pros

Once Dr. Reynolds was famous and wealthy he became a co-owner of the Tampa Bay Bandits, a team in the USFL (1983-85) that was coached by former FU QB and coach Steve Spurrier.

The Bandits squad featured future professional wrestler Lex Luger and Super Bowl Champion Nate Newton.

Burt Reynolds also co-owned a NASCAR Winston Cup team - the #33 Skoal Bandits car driven by Harry Grant.

Oh yeah - Burt's co-owner? None other than Hal Needham, world's greatest stunt director. (By the way, if you've ever wondered if Hal Needham WASN'T a baddass [who hasn't?] - he was a paratrooper in Korea, a treetopper and a billboard model before becoming a stuntman. So that should answer your question pansy. Get a job).

By the way - I found this on Lex Luger's Wikipedia:

After sitting out the 1978 season he started the 1979 season at Offensive Guard until his scholarship was terminated for disciplinary reasons stemming from a hotel damage incident that occurred during an away game at Georgia Tech.

AWESOME!!

So, let's review:

BURT REYNOLDS -> LEE CORSO -> STEVE SPURRIER -> LEX LUGER -> HAL NEEDHAM ->NATE NEWTON.

Burt Video: Evening Shade Promo

Golden Globe winner Burt Reynolds welcomes Dom Deluise to Evening Shade.

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One-time-Burt-Reynolds-wingman Jerry Reed got some love via Shane Harrison of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution today. The paper did a feature on Georgia's "real" guitar heroes - people like Duane Allman, Kaki King and ... Jerry REED!

Feast on this:

JERRY REED: His distinctive guitar playing was overshadowed by his slightly jokey hits (like "Amos Moses" and "When You're Hot, You're Hot") and his acting career, including the "Smokey and the Bandit" movies. The king of country guitarists, Chet Atkins, was a fan and collaborator of Reed's. Listen closely to "Amos Moses" or Reed's many terrific instrumentals; it's obvious he knows his way around a fretboard. Text: Shane Harrison; photo: W.A. Bridges Jr. / AJC

Burt the porn star?

So, there's a porn star version look-a-like Burt Reynolds out there named Sasha Gabor.

First of all, I always sort of considered Burt Reynolds to be a porn star himself, albeit without the "credentials" of Mr. Gabor.

Second of all, Sasha Gabor is awesome!

Apparantley, the real Dr. Burton Leon Reynolds is none too fond of Gabor - and why not? This swingin' D is out there tarnishing the good doctor's name! I did some Wiki-digging and apparantley this Diet-Burt is from Hungary! Gross. The only way to make a porn star more disgusting is if he were from Hungary. What do you think his undercarraige smells like?
I'm guessing: mud.

The only other thing I could find out about him was that in 1984 he got paid $350 to make a film called Every Woman Has a Fantasy.

Speaking of which:

Did you know that according to US News & World Report, 87% of American women fantasize about Burt Reynolds at least three times a day?

(Side note: who's had more women in their day: Burt or Sasha? Even though Sasha does It for a living, I'm guessing B.L. Reynolds has tripled his Number).

Sasha's movie parodies are however, quite funny.
For more on Gabor - I'm guessing he's not related to Zsa Zsa? - check this out.

The Burt Reynolds Death Metal Experiment

Wow - check out the badasses in The Burt Reynolds Death Metal Experiment!!

The Burt Reynolds Death Metal Experiment (BRDME) was formed in late 1977 when the movie Smokey and the Bandit was released. The most influential movie of our time not to mention the most influential moustach of all time together on the big screen deserved nothing less than a tribute band to Burt Reynolds himself. We started out as a dangerious duo but now have a total of seventeen members and growing. We are curently working on our sixty-seventh record and are making good progress. Some of our credits include producing for Frank Sinatra, The village People, The Spazzed Out Chicken Chokers, Eminem, Pyledriver. Also we have colaborated a number of times in song writing with Jay-Z, Clint Black, John Tesch, and Aretha Franklyn to name a few. Our goal with BRDME is to dominate everything. OUR BAND IS BETTER THAN YOURS SO FUCK OFF. HEY WE GOT SHIT FOR SALE. IF YOU EVER WANT TO TRULEY BE SEXy, YOU SHOULD BUY SOMETHING!!!!! CLICK ON THE LINK DICKHEAD!!!

The Women of Burt: Miko Mayama

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Miko Mayama

Actress:

Star Trek, Kojack, M.A.S.H., Hawaii Five-O (typical).

Little known* fact: In 1970, Miko starred in an episode of "The Flying Nun" which starred future Burt-Woman Sally Field.

* - zero known fact.

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Boldly going where ... probably tons of dudes had been - Burt proved that he believed in Affirmative Action by adding Miko's name to his Rolodex.

(There's a [terrible] rumor making its way around Hollywood that during the time Burt was dating Miko, he was participating in something called "Around the World in a Week" where participants attempted to bed someone from each corner of the earth in seven days time).***

***- internet lie.

Burt Reynolds/90210 Sass-Fest

(That's the fastest I've ever posted something. I got the email at 11:02. It was online at 11:02. Thanks to K.Parker for the assist!)

The Women of Burt: Loni Anderson

"I told you g__dammit! Don't hold my hand in public."

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The only person in Burt's life who's had more plastic surgery than himself.

Anderson was married to Dr. B. Leon Reynolds from 1988-1993.

Nominated for 3 Golden Globes.

Co-starred with Burt in BL Stryker, Evening Shade and Stroker Ace.

The Women of Burt: Sally Field

"Damn you Burt Reynolds! Damn you Burt Reynolds!!"

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Ol' Sally and those tight pants of her inspired the following (soliloquay) from Burton Leon Reynolds:

(Field has just asked for a nickname).

BANDIT:

"Frog.
'Cause you're always hoppin' around.
And you're kinda cute like a frog,and... I'd like to jump ya."

For my money, Sally Field is one of Burt's hottest - if not the hottest - conquests.
Apparantley, Stewie from Family Guy doesn't agree with me.
From Episode 89: Road to Rupert, Stewie has just been dropped off by the Bandit and Frog.
Stewie says, with heavy sarcasm,“Thanks for the ride, Bandit. Good luck tapping that hot, hot Sally Field ass.”

It'sAfreeCountryManOkay?!?

And I think that Sally Field is pretty.
Good job Burt!

The Women of Burt: Dinah Shore

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She was 20 years his senior, when Burt started making the rounds with D(!) on his arm in the early 1970s. Dinah Shore - her name would one day be associated with an annual golf tournament famous for being one of the biggest lesbian gatherings in the world... but for a scant time her name was "Burt's Woman."

Shore made her name as a popular singer in the 40's and 50's and later as a daytime television host. (During Shore's heyday as a singer, Reynolds was smoking expensive cigars and competing in large-scale round-robin arm-wrestling tournaments as a 9 year old boy).

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The Women of Burt: Chris Evert

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BORN: Ft. Lauderdale

WON: 18 Grand Slam titles

HAD: Burton Leon Reynolds

In typical Burt fashion, he made the ultra-hot Evert his own.
It's a never-ending process: he sees someone, he likes what they're selling, he makes them his own. When he's finished he moves on.
No crying, no drool - no explaination. It's called collateral damage, Billy!